Beauty For Ashes

Here I am....writing a post for a blog that I have no idea who will read. Let me introduce myself to you.

My name is Tamara...most everyone calls me Tam. I was raised the baby of 8 children, in a loving home, with a mom and dad who did their best to raise us with love. My mom and dad have been married fifty plus years and have taught me what true love looks like. Their marriage was far from perfect. They fought, let the other down, got on one another's nerves, and blew it over and over again. One thing they did right though is they taught me about love and  they never gave up on each other.

My husband and I got married when he was 17 and I was 18. We were expecting our firstborn. While neither of us had a job or a place to live, we were full of hope for the future. My grandma put in our card on our wedding day, "I hope you two can pull this thing off". We didn't understand what she meant. Lol!!! We had no idea how difficult life was, nor did we care. Ignorance is bliss they say. We started out in our marriage on shaky ground by many standards....but God.

Through the years, we have been given outrageous blessings. Not least of which are our three children who are gifts that God entrusted us with to raise. We have failed miserably at times. Other times we felt like we had it all together, only to find out how untogether we really were. In all, we have learned the fact of only being held in the grip of the manifold grace of God. By His grace alone, our three kids adore Him and know how loved they are by Him. That is a gift!

We have added to our family a son in law who we adore and a precious granddaughter who has taught me more in her 6 months of life than I can put into words. My life is utterly and truly blessed. It is not without its struggles however. I am trying to learn how to go forward in life when it doesn't go how you planned or doesn't look like you want it to. How to embrace all the beauty without despairing of the pain that sits along side it.

I sat one morning recently in the dining room of my new house. We were refinishing the floors and so most the house was destroyed and filthy. I grabbed my morning tea and bible while I cleared a corner where I could sit and pretend for a moment my life wasn't torn apart. As I looked around at the mess, in the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of a rainbow that stretched across the sky as far as I could see. I felt The Lord whisper to me, "Tam, look at the beauty in the midst of the mess".

This is the lesson I believe my parents taught me through their marriage long before I even knew life wasn't what I thought it was.  Life is full of ups and downs but find the beauty and hang on. Isn't all of life like that? Beauty mixed with brokenness. I have lived and struggled through enough life to know this truth. I am broken. Yet I am made whole.   Beauty in the brokenness. My prayer is to encourage you (whoever you are) to see what value you have. That you are not cast off. You are deeply loved and unconditionally accepted. Jesus makes beauty for ashes. He calls you beautiful!